ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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