we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Randomize
