exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
