my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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