I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
