He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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