I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
is it fun? or sober?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
