she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
