sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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