her vagine was all disorganized.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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