he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
