I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
