I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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