Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
