Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
