Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
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