No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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