How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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