I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
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