nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
then he tried to convert me to islam
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
