Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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