the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
