He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
