When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Just pee around me
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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