weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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