I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
