He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
