Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
