better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
