It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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