i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
