I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
