remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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