Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
