my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
