masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
