I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
