About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
