woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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