And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Hippo gnu deer
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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