ya dads aren't the best wingmen
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
