Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
