I just cut my nipple shaving
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
