I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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