Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
