I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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