White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
