Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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