I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
