Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
