Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
